There were once five brothers. Four were blacksmiths and one was a donkey-driver. The four brothers who were blacksmiths decided among themselves to kill the donkey driver whose name was Khehlok jaghad, which means crazy bald man in Armenian. They would be free of his annoying presence and his miserable life would be ended. Crazy Bald had left earlier in the day to fetch dry wood in the forest. While plying his way, he stopped at the house of a rich man and borrowed three gold coins.

Later, Crazy Bald returned to the blacksmith shop of his brothers. He hid the three pieces of gold in the butt of the ass. When he entered the brother’s workshop, the ass passed excrement on the floor in front of everyone. Crazy Bald put his hand into the warm excrement as if he was looking for something.

“Amazing” said one brother to the other. “Look, look! Our bald brother is crazy. He’s looking for something of value in the crap of the ass and he actually found three gold coins. Let’s purchase his ass so that we can get the gold coins everyday. We need such an ass so that we don’t have to work likes asses ourselves to earn a living.”

The next day, at evening time, all four blacksmith brothers went to see Crazy Bald who was not home. After a short time, Crazy Bald returned to find his brothers waiting for him. The four brothers asked Crazy Bald to sell them his ass.

“May your homes be torn apart (duhn-ut kahntuhvee – an Armenian imprecation often used by villagers),” said Crazy Bald. You saw that the ass shits two or three gold coins everyday. You’re thinking that I am crazy enough to sell you the ass so you all can become rich. Is that why you have come to see me?”

“Not at all,” replied the four brothers. “We have a few debts here and there, and we need a pack animal. It is only for these urgent reasons that we want to buy the ass.”

“Okay, Okay,” said Crazy Bald. “Agreed, I’ll sell you the ass. Give me twenty scrotums (a scrotum is the testicle bag; this is a figurative way to refer to a male ass).

“My God,” chimed the brothers. “You are asking too much! But since you insist, we agree.” They gave him twenty male asses. In return, they asked Crazy Bald to explain how to take care of the ass so that it will shit frequently.

He replied, “Give the ass enough hay and grains for eight days. If the ass eats everything before the seventh day, put more provisions for it.

The four brothers did as they were advised. They re-provisioned the donkey on the third day as it finished the previous supplies. On the eighth day, they tried to open the door of the stable, but it wouldn’t open. They looked at each other and smiled. They were convinced the ass must have shit a big pile of gold, so much that the door wouldn’t open.

They called a carpenter to unhinge the door of the stable. He came and opened the door and lo and behold, the ass was dead of a bloated stomach. The four brothers were furious. They became determined to murder Crazy Bald. Arriving at Crazy Bald’s dwelling, they looked everywhere. They found his wife, but he was not there.

Before the eighth day, Crazy Bald went up into a forested mountainside and trapped two wild rabbits that looked exactly alike. He left one with his wife and took the other with him. He told his wife, “When my brothers come looking for me, let them see you talk to the rabbit and say, “Go and fetch my husband on the mountainside” She did as he said in front of the brothers. When she let the rabbit free, it ran and hopped right up the mountainside as he was ordered to do.

A short time later, Crazy Bald came back down the mountain holding a rabbit that looked exactly like the one his wife sent with a message to call him back. His brothers were stunned by the rapid and obedient rabbit. There were no telephones yet in the Armenian villages of Cicilia. Such a messenger rabbit was a marvel. So the brothers forgot about killing Crazy Bald and inquired how they could have the rabbit to replace the donkey that died.

Crazy Bald dickered with them by insisting that they should give him five scrotums for the miraculous messenger rabbit. They reluctantly agreed.

One of the brothers had a debtor in a distant village that he had not heard from for months. He tied a small bag on the rabbit’s neck with a message to his debtor. The message read, “This is my messenger rabbit. Please treat him to some good grass and water. Then please place the amount of two gold coins that you owe me in the small back on his neck and order him to bring them back to me.” He took the rabbit out of its cage and held it in his hands while another brother tied the bag to its neck. The rabbit was squirming like anything trying to get away. The brother talked to it, “Now go to the village called Hadjin and find the house Toros demerji (iron forger). Then wait for his instructions. The rabbit twitched his nose and moved its ears. The brother took that as a yes answer and then let it loose. The rabbit ran as fast at it could up the mountainside and disappeared.

The brothers waited nearly one month without seeing the rabbit return from Hadjin. They realized that were tricked again by their Crazy Bald. This time they were determined to kill him without being conned again by his quirky tricks.

Crazy Bald understood that his brothers were planning to kill him. He went to the public market and purchased sheep guts (intestines). He had the butcher fill them with fresh blood of a lamb and came home. He asked his wife to wrap the intestines full of blood around her belly and cover them with her dress. He asked her not to go to bed, but wait and see if his brothers paid a visit. If they did, he would invite them into the house. He would start an argument with her in front of his brothers. Gradually, he would become more and more angry; then grab her and stab her with a knife in the belly. He asked her to pretend that she was mortally wounded. His brothers would see the lamb’s blood squirt all over the room and she would scream and faint as if dead.

Once she seemed dead, Crazy Bald explained he would come up to her body and blow on a ram’s horn into her ear. “When you hear me blow on the ram’s horn,” said Crazy Bald, “rise up with a smile and praise Jesus for bringing you back from death.”

That night his four brothers came knocking on the door of his house. Their purpose was to kill him. He let them in. Crazy Bald began to argue with his wife in front of the brothers. He became very angry and started to shout because she became stubborn and talked back. Then, he ran toward her and plunged a knife into her belly. She screamed and grabbed her belly. Her blood squirted everywhere in the living room.

The four brothers were shocked and shouted at Crazy Bald, “Why did you kill your wife!” Crazy Bald smiled and walked up to his wife and blew the ram’s horn into her ear. She came back to life and smiled and begged forgiveness from her husband for talking back to him. The four brothers were puzzled by what happened and fascinated by the ram’s horn. They looked at each other and said, “We need a ram’s horn like that to teach our wives a lesson. They have a stubborn streak and talk harshly to us sometimes. If they do that again we can kill them and cut their heads off, then blow the ram’s horn and bring them back to life. They will become humble and be listen to what we say.”

Crazy Bald sold his magical ram’s horn for two scrotums. The eldest brother took the horn first and went home to his wife. He started a fight with her for no reason. She became very agitated and talked back to him for his mean words. He said, ‘Why don’t you listen to me and stop talking back, you crazy lady. You’re going to die now.” He grabbed her frightened body and threw her on the ground and cut her throat.

His children were horrified and let out wailing cries. The father smiled and told them not to be worried. He was going to bring mommy back to life. He blew into the ram’s horn pointing it in his wife’s ear. Nothing happened. She lay there dead as a doornail, her head severed from her body. The elder brother was furious. He called the other brothers. They were tricked again by Crazy Bald. But, this time they were more than determined to kill him without any more diversions by his tricks.

They rushed to his house. One of the brothers suggested that they torture him before they kill him. They agreed. They grabbed Crazy Bald and took him up a steep hill overlooking the ocean. They tied him to a tree and put a cloth sack over his head. They began to strike him one after the other. They left him there to suffer all night with the expectation that the next day they would come back and throw him into the ocean to drown. There was no hope of Crazy Bald to survive.

During the night, a sheepherder with his small flock of forty sheep came up the trail to let his sheep spend the night on the high hill and graze on the grass. Crazy Bald herd the sounds of the herd and understood that a lone sheepherder was close. He began to cry, “I’ll never marry the king’s daughter no matter how much they torture me.” Never , never.”
The sheepherder was amazed hearing the impassioned cries of Crazy Bald.
He said, “Brother, I’ll marry her any day. You have to be a fool to refuse to marry the king’s daughter.”
“Brother sheepherder,” said Crazy Bald, “I love someone else. I can never marry the king’s daughter. But, if you want to, then let’s change places. You untie me and I’ll tie you in my place with this sack over your head. At, dawn, the king’s men will come and ask you if you changed your mind. Just say yes, I’ll marry her. And they will let you free and honor you as the new prince. You will enjoy a life of royal pleasures with the beautiful princess. What do you say?”

The naïve sheepherder said yes. He unties Crazy Bald and let himself be tied by him to the tree with the sack over his head. The sheepherder gave his sheep to Crazy Bald who left congratulating him on his good fortune.

The next morning, the four brothers came and began to immediately pound who they thought was Crazy Bald under the sack. The sheepherder cried out that he wanted to marry the king’s daughter. The four brothers thought that Crazy Bald had really gone mad by suffering all night. They beat him to a pulp and dragged him to the edge of the precipice and threw him into the deep sea below to drown.“ Good riddance,” they chimed in unison and went back to their village to lament the death of the elder brother’s wife.

After a month’s time, Crazy Bald entered the village with his herd of thirty sheep and stood outside his brother’s blacksmith shop. The four brothers could not believe their eyes on seeing Crazy Bald. They were certain that he died by drowning in the sea. Yet, he was standing there smiling and apparently prosperous with a herd of sheep.

Crazy Bald said, “May tragedy befall all of you! Why did you throw me so close to the shoreline. If you had hurled me father out to drown, I would have receive more sheep as a blessing. That particular high hill overlooking the sea was once the hermitage of a holy man. He prayed that Jesus bless any person who throws themselves off that precipice to drown in the sea. The blessing is that they will not die, but receive as many sheep as the number of feet they fall from the shoreline. I only fell thirty feet from the shore and received only thirty sheep.”

The four brothers looked at one another. They were enticed by Crazy Bald’s tall tale. But, they could not disbelieve him because they threw him over the precipice into the sea below. No man could possibly survive such a steep fall into the deep waters of the sea from that height. They envy for Crazy Bald and their greed for wealth blinded their thoughts. They ran home and told their wives and children. The wives came running to the precipice with their children and relatives. On seeing Crazy Bald alive, they also believed his story. He helped them all jump as far into the water as possible. In the excitement, Crazy Bald’s wife also jumped before he could stop her.

Thus greed and the passion for wealth can completely blind a person’s rational sense and lead to tragedy. What appears to be true may not be true. In fact, most people strive for one illusory hope after another based on their own greed and lust for wealth and power.